its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
