Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
