Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.