she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.