Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
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