he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
it is shots o' clock and I am never late