I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.