i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
You Will Never Meet Anyone More Annoying Than These 23 People
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
We don't watch enough power rangers
These 23 People Prove You Don’t Have To Be A 10 To Be Good In Bed
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...