When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Randomize
