Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
