Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
