Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
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