I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
