he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
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