He kissed a someone with a penis
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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