My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
being pregnant is like rehab
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize