Oh shit. There are penis maracas
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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