i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I just found puke in my bra..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
My feet surprised me
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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