Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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