i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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