can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize