Old men and throwing up are my life now.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
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