I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
My vagina just recognized that song.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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