Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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