I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
