I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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