We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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