Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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