she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
