Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
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