idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i only shaved half my leg
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
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He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
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You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy