I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I just found a bag of teeth...
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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