You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
