Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
