I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I enjoy the company of your penis
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
