just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize