you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize