I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
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