you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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