I'm jealous of your bromance
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
