We tried having a conversation with our noses.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
And then my night got REAL pukey
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
