Capitaan dildo arrescate!
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Drake has all the answers
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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