You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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