So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize