If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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