He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
