i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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