This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.