UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
23 People Confess The Trashiest Thing They’ve Seen In Person
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
19 Transgender People Reveal The First Sign That They Were Trans
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.