I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.