Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
