I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
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i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
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Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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