12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize