we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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