I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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