well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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