My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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